I read a blog post at the end of 2013 by Ann Voskamp, author of NY Times best seller: One Thousand Gifts. I dug it up and reread the post today because I needed something so blunt, real and truthful, and it’s too good not to share.
Read the article here
Ann is right. Beyond right. And on National Proposal Day, I think it’s only fitting to remind men and women alike that there is not a perfect proposal, just one perfect for you.
In today’s world proposals, engagements and even weddings have become a performance, rather than a celebration. Focus has been placed so much on one moment, you lose sight of what is after the ring, after the vows. You lose sight of reality and the life you are building.
How your fiancé or husband proposes/ed may not be newsworthy or even a story that will make your friends “oooh” and “ahhh.” Realize that the staging and effort of a proposal does not represent how much he does or doesn’t love you.
“How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purpose to lay down his life that makes him romantic.”
I love social media, obviously. Did share the news of my engagement on social media, yes – but at the end of the day if my post isn’t shared, retweeted, liked, repinned or captured on a Youtube video that gets a million views – SO BE IT! I shared it to tell my family and friends happy news, not to be a viral sensation. I know the love I have, and the life I’m creating with the person closest to me is the truest and realest thing I’ve ever known.
“Romance isn’t measured by how viral your proposal goes. The internet age may try to sell you something different, but don’t ever forget that viral is closely associated with sickness – so don’t ever make being viral your goal.”
So ladies, my PSA: Your love doesn’t have to be showcased and viewed by millions. It should be enough that you know its depth and its power. Love isn’t about an engagement or wedding. While those are two important, memorable moments they aren’t meant to be perfect – they’re meant to be real and full of joy.
Redefine boring with your fiancé or husband. Be a woman who loves the “boring” man. Love the good, the bad, the ugly – but most of all the real.
I’m not downgrading the value of a good proposal. It takes effort and creatively to pull one off, but men, my PSA (taken directly from Ann): “Sure, go ahead, have fun, make a ridiculously good memory and we’ll cheer loud: propose creatively — but never forget that what wows a woman and woos her is you how you purpose to live your life.”
While this post isn’t a wedding how to, or pretty pictures of centerpieces or shoes – it’s one of the realist moments of wedding planning. Don’t let society and media make you second guess your love, ability or milestones. Be you, be boring.
[Be] “The kind of man [couple] whose romance doesn’t have to go viral — because it’s going eternal.”
Sip a glass of red & write your to-do list.